When PPE Feels Like a Sport
If you’ve ever sprinted down a hall, snapping on gloves mid-run while trying to tie your gown without ripping it—you’ve competed in the Nurse Olympics: PPE Edition.
Forget Paris 2024. Forget medals. Nurses have their own Olympic arena every single shift, where the events involve masks, goggles, gowns, and the universal struggle of finding the right size gloves.
The stakes?
- Gold: Actually making it into the room without contamination.
- Silver: Tying your gown correctly the first time.
- Bronze: At least your mask stayed on.
The CDC emphasizes that proper donning and doffing are critical for infection prevention, even though we all know it adds precious minutes to an already long shift.
Event #1: The Speed Glove Donning Race
Objective: Get both gloves on before the patient (or worse, the physician) notices you fumbling.
Challenges:
- Box only has size XS when you need L.
- Gloves stick together like they’re glued.
- Your sweaty hands are basically suction cups.
Hacks for Gold:
- Keep a secret glove stash in your pocket (nurses know the value of contraband supplies).
- Blow into the glove like a balloon for easy entry (pro tip or pure desperation? You decide).
Funny Nurse Story:
“I once got so frustrated with gloves that I wore one inside out. Didn’t even care. Charted it as ‘creative PPE utilization.’”
Event #2: The Gown Tie Gymnastics
Objective: Tie the back of your gown without help.
Challenges:
- Gown strings shorter than your scrub pocket.
- Ties somehow always tangle in your stethoscope.
- Colleague too busy to give you a “tie assist.”
Nurse Hack:
- Perfect the “reach-around twirl” technique (like a sad solo ballet performance).
- Practice yoga. Honestly, it’s the only way.
Real Nurse Quote:
“My record is 14 seconds for a solo gown tie. Waiting for the Olympics committee to recognize me.”
Event #3: The Mask Fit Test Sprint
Objective: Put on your N95 properly before entering isolation.
Challenges:
- One strap always gets tangled in your hair bun.
- Mask either too tight (“instant migraine”) or too loose (“smell everything”).
- Fogging your goggles like a broken car windshield.
Funny Story:
“Once I sprinted into a room, only to realize my N95 was upside down. Patient thought it was hilarious. Infection control… not so much.”
Event #4: The Goggle Fog Marathon
Objective: Actually see while wearing goggles for more than five minutes.
Challenges:
- Condensation = instant blindness.
- Anti-fog wipes mysteriously always out of stock.
- You run into equipment because you’re basically operating in a steam room.
Nurse Survival Hack:
- Shaving cream or baby shampoo rubbed lightly on the lenses = DIY anti-fog.
- Or… just embrace working blind like the rest of us.
Event #5: The Doffing Disqualification Round
Objective: Remove PPE without contaminating yourself.
Challenges:
- Gown sleeves suction to your arms like vacuum seals.
- Gloves snap back and fling mystery fluids into your face.
- You forget the order mid-doff (cue panic).
Hack for Survival:
- Recite the steps like it’s the Macarena.
- Go slow. Because rushing = guaranteed contamination.
Event #6: The Supply Closet Treasure Hunt
Objective: Find PPE in the supply closet faster than anyone else.
Challenges:
- Empty glove boxes everywhere.
- Only one XXL gown left.
- N95s stored “somewhere safe” (translation: nobody knows where).
Funny Nurse Confession:
“I once traded chocolate for a pack of gloves. Still worth it.”
The Nurse Olympic Village: The Break Room
Every Olympian deserves a break. For nurses, the “village” is the break room—where the conversations go something like this:
- “My goggles fogged so bad I charted in Braille.”
- “Who else ripped three gowns in one shift?”
- “I’d win gold in glove-box rage-quit.”
Why Humor About PPE Matters
Laughing about PPE isn’t just comedy—it’s coping.
- Reduces stress: Shifts are tough. Humor keeps morale up.
- Creates connection: Every nurse has competed in the PPE Olympics.
- Improves resilience: If you can laugh about your gown ripping, you can face another 12-hour shift.
Nurse Survival Hacks Recap
- Glove Race: Keep spares in your pocket.
- Gown Tying: Stretch daily (seriously).
- Mask Fit: Check before sprinting.
- Goggle Fog: DIY anti-fog or embrace blindness.
- Doffing Dance: Macarena method = safety.
- Supply Closet: Chocolate is currency.
Conclusion: Claim Your Medal
At the end of every shift, if you’ve survived PPE battles, you deserve a medal—or at least hot coffee and a snack that isn’t eaten standing in a hallway.
Because whether you’re sprinting through glove races, battling gown gymnastics, or embracing goggle fog blindness—you are an Olympian.
So raise your badge reels high, nurses. You’ve earned gold in the Nurse Olympics: PPE Edition.
